I Like to Touch My Elf Jumper – Rude Funny Christmas Sweatshirt (Unisex)

Santa’s got a confession… and it’s not going on the Nice List.
The I Like to Touch My Elf jumper is naughty, hilarious, and just the right amount of wrong. Featuring a creepy Santa giving his elf some very unwanted affection, this is the kind of festive filth your mates will lose it over — and your mam will pretend not to notice.

Wear it to the office party if you’ve got nothing to lose, or rock it during the 12 Pubs to instantly earn “boldest outfit of the night.”

🎄 Why You’ll Love It:

Hilariously rude design that pushes festive boundaries

Guaranteed to spark reactions (and maybe a few walk-outs)

Super soft fleece inside for actual comfort after emotional damage

Unisex fit – perfect for lads, ladies, or the criminally unserious

👕 Sweatshirt Specs:

50% cotton, 50% polyester

Pre-shrunk with a classic fit

Made with air-jet spun yarn for a soft, low-pill finish

1x1 athletic rib knit collar with spandex for durability

Double-needle stitching at collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs & hem

⚠️ Disclaimers:

White variant may appear off-white due to fabric characteristics

Orange variant may display subtle colour shifts in varied lighting

This jumper is not safe for carol services, kid-friendly zones, or your nan’s Christmas dinner

🎁 Perfect For:

Secret Santa legends with zero shame

The mate who loves making everyone uncomfortable

Starting pub night with a bang (and maybe a warning from management)